A young woman’s trip with her in-laws doesn’t go as planned. Faced with judgments about her background and manners, she makes a choice with big consequences.

I (F26) went on a family trip with my in-laws two weeks ago. My mother-in-law always thinks I’m “ignorant” and “uncultured” because I come from a lower-class family compared to hers, and she believes I have no manners.

When we got to the hotel, they planned a dinner at a fancy restaurant. My husband didn’t tell me about it until the last minute when he was already dressed and ready. When I asked where he was going, he said he and his family were going out for dinner, but I wasn’t invited.

His reason? His mom assumed that I wouldn’t know how to handle the food or act properly at such a place, so she thought it was better if I stayed at the hotel and ate there instead. I didn’t argue; I let him leave, packed my bags, and caught the first flight home.

When my husband found out I had left, he was furious and called me nonstop. He said I was being unreasonable and ungrateful and that I had embarrassed him in front of his family, even though he had begged me to join the trip. When he got home, he gave me the silent treatment. His family also made indirect comments about me on Facebook.

What people think online:

• It’s offensive for your husband and his family to exclude you from this dinner. Their reason for doing so is atrocious. It’s even worse for him not to inform you in advance that he’d be having dinner without you. That your husband doesn’t understand why his behavior and his family’s behavior is completely unacceptable.

• His family isn’t nice, but he didn’t defend you when his mother said such atrocities? He actually thinks his mother is right, and you don’t belong there. Get out, now, fast, and find yourself someone who appreciates you.

• Wow! When it comes to world-class rudeness, this one is right up there. Does your husband even like you???

• It sounds like you have a husband problem. Did he go along with you not being included in going to dinner? That is incredibly rude and disrespectful. He didn’t defend you. He could have declined the dinner invitation and gone out with you instead.
  If you want this relationship to last, you both need to go to counselling to learn communication and boundaries. He also has to grow a spine to deal with his mother.