Math was never Little Johnny\u2019s strong suit. Numbers, fractions, and percentages always gave him trouble, and it finally caught up to him.<\/p>\n
He came home looking defeated.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad, I got an F in math today.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n His father frowned.\u00a0\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Johnny sighed.\u00a0\u201cThe teacher asked, \u2018What\u2019s 3 times 2?\u2019 I said 6.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n His dad nodded.\u00a0\u201cWell, that\u2019s correct!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Johnny continued,\u00a0\u201cThen she asked, \u2018What\u2019s 2 times 3?\u2019\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n His dad scoffed.\u00a0\u201cWhat\u2019s the difference?!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Johnny grinned.\u00a0\u201cThat\u2019s exactly what I said!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n A man had a morning habit that drove his wife crazy\u2014loud, smelly farts every single day.<\/p>\n \u201cOne day, you\u2019re going to fart so hard you\u2019ll blow your guts out!\u201d<\/em>\u00a0she warned.<\/p>\n He just laughed it off.<\/p>\n Then, on Thanksgiving morning, she saw her opportunity. While he was still sleeping, she snuck into the kitchen, grabbed a handful of turkey innards, and carefully stuffed them into his underwear.<\/p>\n An hour later, a scream echoed through the house, followed by the sound of frantic footsteps running to the bathroom.<\/p>\n A long silence followed.<\/p>\n Finally, he emerged, pale-faced and shaken. In a hushed voice, he whispered:<\/p>\n \u201cHoney\u2026 you were right. But with some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got them all back in.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Math was never Little Johnny\u2019s strong suit. Numbers, fractions, and percentages always gave him trouble, and it finally caught up to him. He came home looking defeated…. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3290,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-new"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3289"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3291,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3289\/revisions\/3291"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3290"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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