{"id":1921,"date":"2025-01-10T21:22:45","date_gmt":"2025-01-10T19:22:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/?p=1921"},"modified":"2025-01-10T21:22:45","modified_gmt":"2025-01-10T19:22:45","slug":"my-sister-asked-her-deadbeat-absentee-birth-father-to-walk-her-down-the-aisle-instead-of-the-man-who-raised-her-now-none-of-them-attended-the-wedding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/?p=1921","title":{"rendered":"My sister asked her deadbeat, absentee birth father to walk her down the aisle, instead of the man who raised her. Now none of them attended the wedding"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I (16M) don\u2019t even know where to start with the shit storm that was my sister\u2019s (Tiffany, 27F, half sister actually) wedding this past weekend.<\/p>\n

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I\u2019ve got to give the background for any of this to make sense. So my mom (Cassidy, 51F), was married to this loser, Jeff, for like 5 years.<\/p>\n

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He was my sister\u2019s Dad. They got divorced when she was 3. He was in and out of her life until she was 7 when he just disappeared.<\/p>\n

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My Mom, married my Dad (Clark, 58M) when Tiff was 7 also, after 2 years of dating. I came around about 4 years later.<\/p>\n

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I have always kind of looked up to my sister, even though we are not that close really.<\/p>\n

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She was always nice to me, but I mean she\u2019s 11 years older so we never really played together and my parents didn\u2019t have her watch me very often.<\/p>\n

I was 7 when she left for college, so like, were just close-ish but maybe could be closer if we weren\u2019t so far apart age wise.<\/p>\n

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Now, this is all my Mom has told me about Jeff. I guess when they were dating in college Jeff seemed awesome.<\/p>\n

Senior year my Mom and Jeff got married in a big wedding paid for by Jeff\u2019s Dad.<\/p>\n

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My mom says he worked really hard in college, even though he did like to party and really liked to get high back then.<\/p>\n

Mom was totally in party mode too so they just worked. It wasn\u2019t until they graduated that things changed.<\/p>\n

Turns out, the only reason Jeff was working so hard was because it was a stipulation of his inheritance. His Dad is loaded.<\/p>\n

Now while Jeff wasn\u2019t getting the money immediately, Jeff\u2019s Dad made it clear to him and his brothers that a college degree was mandatory to get their trusts, and if they had that and a family, they\u2019d get the money when they turned 30 or 40, or something.<\/p>\n

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So Jeff had the college degree and was married to my Mom. My mom said after college, he never really tried to get a job.<\/p>\n

My mom got a good one right away. Jeff bounced in and out of jobs but mostly just lived off my Mom, smoked pot, and was determined to have a kid.<\/p>\n

A year in, my mom did get pregnant with Tiff. Mom said Jeff turned into pure worthless at this point. My mom got a good promotion at about this time too.<\/p>\n

She said it was good she did because even though Jeff was at home all the time he couldn\u2019t be trusted with Tiff on his own and she had to pay for daycare.<\/p>\n

It seemed like Jeff had met his life goal and was just waiting to cash in on his Dad\u2019s deal.<\/p>\n

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My mom said she tried pressing him to do anything, but he never would. At that point she had enough and divorced him.<\/p>\n

Over the next 4 years he was in and out of her life. He totally sucked as a Dad, he would no show when it was time to pick up Tiff, bring her back early.<\/p>\n

He would not have food at home, or he would ask my mom for money (she would usually give it to him because she didn\u2019t want Tiff going without.)<\/p>\n

Like I said my Dad married my Mom when Tiff was 7. From all I\u2019ve ever noticed My Dad and Tiff had a good relationship.<\/p>\n

My mom always let him be the fun parent with her, (neither is the fun parent with me, just kidding\u2026sort of) but there were a few times in there when he had to be the bad guy.<\/p>\n

But I know he coached her youth teams, he always took her dress shopping and let her get whatever she wanted, I guess they\u2019re expensive? Anyway, by time I could remember anything, Tiff always called my Dad, Dad.<\/p>\n

My mom said in the 18 years Jeff was missing he sent her 2 birthday cards.<\/p>\n

One when she was 8, so probably the first one after he left, and then again when she was 14, and that one was 9 weeks late.<\/p>\n

So for much of her life my Dad, was just as much her only Dad. Then 2 years ago Jeff showed up again.<\/p>\n

For 6 months he was around and trying to get to know Tiff. For whatever reason she let him right in to her life. Then, he just disappeared again for another 6 months.<\/p>\n

A year ago, Jeff showed up again, and this time stayed. He \u201cappears\u201d to be clean and sober.<\/p>\n

Anyway, Tiff has been including him in all the wedding planning.<\/p>\n

Which has had my parents annoyed they have to be around Jeff this much, especially since he only bring his opinion to the table and nothing else. My parents have paid for everything.<\/p>\n

On top of this, Tiff has started calling Dad, Step-Dad when we are around others, she still just calls him Dad if it\u2019s just us, but Step-Dad everywhere else.<\/p>\n

This came to a head as the wedding approached. The biggest issue has been that Tiff would not state who she wants to do things like, Walk her down aisle, father\/daughter dance, give the speech, etc. She kept saying she will go over all that at the Rehearsal Dinner.<\/p>\n

My mom has been reminding her all about Jeff\u2019s role in her life, and my Dad\u2019s role in her life. She didn\u2019t get the hint.<\/p>\n

I knew going into the wedding my parents were going to be pissed because it really seemed like she was going to split these up and have Jeff do some of them.<\/p>\n

We got to the rehearsal dinner on Thursday. Everyone was assembled, and Tiff started going over the roles for the wedding.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when she said that she wanted Jeff to do all the traditional father things at the wedding.<\/p>\n

I could see the hurt on my Dad\u2019s face and the anger on my Mom\u2019s. But I was not prepared for what happened next.<\/p>\n

My Mom stood up and said, \u201cWhy would you pick HIM, for any of that, he\u2019s barely been in your life.\u201d.<\/p>\n

Everyone got quiet, Tiff after a moment said, \u201cWe\u2019ve missed out on a lot of time, I want to start building memories, I don\u2019t know why you have to do this now, it\u2019s important to me to have these traditions with my real father.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when the bombshell hit, \u201cThen you should pick Clark, because he IS your real father.\u201d<\/p>\n

My sister, starting to cry said \u201cwhat are you talking about.\u201d At this point my dad pulled a few folded sheets of paper out.<\/p>\n

It was results of a paternity test from when my sister was 3 years old. It clearly showed that my Dad was actually Tiffany\u2019s biological father.<\/p>\n

Jeff got his hands on a copy and screamed ,\u201dWhat the fuck is this, you cheap whore.\u201d My mom fired back, \u201cOh please, the second we graduated I figured out you were a worthless loser, and you\u2019ve proven that over and over again throughout the years.<\/p>\n

You faked who you were and wasted years of my life, I have my reasons for everything that\u2019s happened and don\u2019t have to explain myself to you Jeff, and it\u2019s not like you ever figured out or noticed anything anyway.<\/p>\n

God I hate you, If you had just stayed away everything would have been fine, well hopefully now youll go away and stay gone, have no reason to stay now and you can just go back and drink and smoke yourself to death in whatever gutter you choose.\u201d<\/p>\n

At this point Tiffany and her fiance left, with her in tears, other guests were in total shock, and Jeff was seething. He charged at my Mom and Dad, which was terrible decision. Jeff is maybe 5\u2032 10\u2033, and has the body of a guy who has been drinking and smoking for the last 30 years.<\/p>\n

My Dad is like 6\u2032 3\u2033 and has the body of a guy who has been working out for the last 30 years. The slap my Dad delivered across Jeff\u2019s face sounded like a sonic boom and literally took Jeff off his feet, and yes I said that right, slap.<\/p>\n

Jeff just laid there shook and defeated, my Dad said, \u201cDon\u2019t do that again, I won\u2019t be nice next time.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that point my parents came over and asked me if I minded to ride home with my grandparents, they needed a bit of time to themselves. I said that was fine.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t hear anything until the next day. Jeff disappeared again, and no one has seen him since. My parents called me and told me they wouldn\u2019t be attending the wedding, but that I should support my sister. They had talked to Tiffany, she was a mess, and asked they not attend at all.<\/p>\n

My parents said to me that they understood that decision and didn\u2019t want to ruin this any further. My parents did not explain anymore of the situation to me.<\/p>\n

The wedding did happen on Saturday. I ended up walking Tiffany down the aisle and most of the guests still came.<\/p>\n

The only ones who didn\u2019t were the few members of Jeff\u2019s family that RSVP\u2019d, and my parents. The ceremony was nice and all but you could just tell my sister was sad.<\/p>\n

She did her best to enjoy the day but it was noticably difficult for her. They left for their honeymoon the day after.<\/p>\n

I decided to stay with my grandparents this whole time everything was happening.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m back home today, and my parents told me they\u2019ll tell me everything I want to know.<\/p>\n

Im not even sure what I want to know, this whole thing is just crazy. Hopefully, I\u2019ll get a shot to update everyone at some point, maybe when Tiff gets back.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know if this is the update everyone wants. Tiff is still not back from her honeymoon, but I did ask my parents about the stuff at the rehearsal. Took me a few days to work up the nerve.<\/p>\n

For those of you who guessed it was all about money you get the rainbow sticker on your chart.<\/p>\n

After a year of being married and Jeff doing nothing. My mom told him she wanted a divorce. Jeff knew his Dad would never give him anything if he got divorced, at least not anytime soon. He begged my mom to stay just until he got the money, then they\u2019d divorce and she would get half. My mom agreed. However, she also decided she was divorced in her mind. She began going out and that is where she met my Dad and began seeing him behind Jeff\u2019s back. I asked why all the secrecy if you were both just in it for the money, and she said it was because if she was caught being \u201cunfaithful\u201d she figured Jeff might have a reason to divorce her without falling out with his father.<\/p>\n

She messed up and got pregnant by my Dad. I asked wouldn\u2019t Jeff know it wasnt his, if you were just faking the marriage. She said \u201cThis is probably TMI, but once I knew I was pregnant, I took a few for the team.\u201d (Gross)<\/p>\n

When Tiff was born Jeff went on the birth certificate. She waited 3 years in hopes of getting that money until she had her fill and divorced him. She hadn\u2019t given up though. She knew Jeff was a fuck up and likely would never get his life together. So if she kept up with the hoax, that Tiff was his daughter, then maybe Tiff could get the money. My mom said this ended up being a long con, which she only said to sound cool, I know she learned that term from watching Lost.<\/p>\n

Luckily, Jeff\u2019s Dad was not a present grandparent, he didn\u2019t want to see her ever, Mom said he\u2019s one of those \u201cChildren are to be seen, not heard\u201d types of people. She would send him pictures, and letters of all of Tiff\u2019s accomplishments. When Jeff just disappeared from their lives, she kept it up. It took another 8 years but she eventually convinced this man, who by this point had totally given up on his son, to give Jeff\u2019s share to Tiff. It was $350k.<\/p>\n

Tiff was 15 by this point, and Jeff\u2019s father was still around. My mom feared some sort of legal repurcussions if the truth came out, so she never said anything. Jeff had been gone for 8 years. Tiff and OUR DAD had really bonded, she had been calling him Dad for years by this point. My mom said she was wrong but to not tell Tiff at some point, but with all the things I said above she thought all was going fine, no need to mess it up.<\/p>\n

The money was all spent on Tiff. It covered her 4.5 years of college, plus grad school, a new car when she graduated HS, rent when she moved out of the dorms after freshman year, and a monthly allowance of \u201cmad money.\u201d The remainder was used for the wedding and honeymoon. My parents make good money but we aren\u2019t rich.<\/p>\n

Jeff\u2019s Dad died about 2.5 years ago. My mom knows that Jeff went for his inheritance and found out it had already been given to Tiff. That was the first 6 months he was back and trying to be in her life. My mom told me after about 6 months he asked my mom about it and she told him it was all gone. That\u2019s when he disappeared again. She had hoped this was the last they would ever hear from him. My mom decided it had been so long she was just going to let the lie stay, she regrets that now but figured why disrupt everyone\u2019s harmony.<\/p>\n

But then Jeff came back and has been around the whole year. He just won\u2019t seem to leave. Tiff kept getting closer, my mom kept hoping he would eventually just fuck up or disappear but it didn\u2019t happen. When my Dad started to get cut out it upset them, and they said they both made a poor decision, but they wanted Jeff gone. They\u2019d hoped Tiff would pick my Dad and when that didn\u2019t happen they outed the whole thing.<\/p>\n

They regret the wedding situation, and not telling her long ago, but know what\u2019s done is done. They said they\u2019ll do everything to make it up to her when she returns, and need me to continue being a good brother to her.<\/p>\n

It has been the weirdest week and a half ever. My sister was set to get back from her honeymoon this morning, and she is coming by today to talk to our parents. We\u2019ve had some relatives call and ask about everything that happened. My mom has been telling them most of the truth, she is grossly downplaying the money part. Most think she is horrible for leaving Jeff in our lives, and not letting her know that my Dad, Clark, was her bio Dad the whole time. I actually think if my sister decides to cut off my parents, they will too. I don\u2019t know right now, I\u2019m obviously still going to be here until college but I might too if Tiff does.<\/p>\n

Jeff is dead. We got notified earlier this week by one of Jeff\u2019s brothers. He said he was only contacting my mom as a courtesy to Tiffany, and asked she not find out until after her honeymoon. Then stated this would be the last time anyone from his family would ever be contact. The apparent cause was drug overdose. Jeff was found in his hotel room right after the wedding weekend with several empty vials of prescription drugs and several empty bottles of alcohol.<\/p>\n

My parents have been anxious all day, they\u2019re making me anxious, I can\u2019t wait for Tiff to get here so we can get this over with.<\/p>\n

Update: My sister got here a few hours ago. She walked into our living room, my parents were standing there. My sister looked at them and said, \u201cDid it work?\u201d. My parents started nodding then everyone began smiling and hugging, she said, \u201cgreat plan Mom.\u201d I was so damn confused.<\/p>\n

Mom then started, \u201cYep, OD just like we figured, your dad did good getting the spiked booze into his room.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tiff, \u201cYeah how\u2019d you pull that off with out him noticing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad, \u201cSeriously? Guy was such an idiot and so out of it all the time he wouldn\u2019t have noticed if I left a live bear in there. When we went up to his room together just before the rehearsal dinner, so I could give HIM money to give to you as a wedding present, I just pulled the bottles out of my pockets and put it in the mini fridge with rest of his booze and dropped the empty vials around the room, while he fumbled around looking for his cigarettes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mom, \u201cHow much was the policy worth?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tiff, \u201c$565k, new house here I come.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mom, \u201cI\u2019m so happy for you baby, you deserve it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tiff, \u201cYeah I do, 2 years of dealing with that loser, cleaning him up, listening to his sob stories, he\u2019s always the victim, ugh, my skin crawled when I had to hug him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mom, \u201d No clauses in it about overdose or anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tiff, \u201cNo I made sure of that when I took him to get the policy, moron would have signed anything I put in front him.\u201d<\/p>\n

This is when I chimed in, \u201cWhat did he sign?\u201d Tiff responded, \u201cA life insurance policy, with me as the beneficiary. (She turned back to our parents) I\u2019m just so sad you guys couldn\u2019t be at the wedding, it was nice having Tim (That\u2019s me) walk me down the aisle and we got some good pictures, but I wanted you both there so bad, it did help me look sad for the guests though\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad, \u201cI know sweetie, but we will stick to the plan, we spend this year low-contact while we \u201creconcile\u201d then next year we do the small beach redo wedding with all of us. Adam (Sisters husband) will be okay with that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tiff, \u201cYeah, he will do anything for me, he\u2019s the sweetest best guy ever. Oh and then can you finally legally adopt me, I already got rid of Jeff\u2019s last name, though I\u2019m sad I never got to be a Malcolm (our last name). But can we finally get him off my birth certificate.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad, \u201cFor sure\u201d<\/p>\n

Mom, \u201cOh it feels so good to be done, 5 years wasted on that guy, I never got one cent of child support, all the times I had to give HIM money. You were the only good thing that came out of my poor college decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n

I chimed in again here, \u201cWait, I\u2019m confused again, is Dad not her bio Dad?\u201d<\/p>\n

They all looked at me puzzled, my Dad said, \u201cNo, Bud, I\u2019m her Step-Dad, I didn\u2019t even meet her Mom until she was 5.\u201d I responded, \u201cThen who\u2019s Tiff\u2019s bio Dad?\u201d<\/p>\n

Dad, \u201cJeff\u2026..Tim, don\u2019t be a dumbass.\u201d Then they all laughed, my sister came over and hugged me and said something about catching on. Then they all laughed, my mom reminded my sister about no contact for the next month, then Tiff left.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been in my room since, I made the mistake of watching some horrible Netflix show about a guy who burned his family alive on Christmas. So now I\u2019m extra on edge. My mind is total mush. I am so disenfranchised.<\/p>\n

Really leaning towards out of state college.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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I (16M) don\u2019t even know where to start with the shit storm that was my sister\u2019s (Tiffany, 27F, half sister actually) wedding this past weekend. I\u2019ve got… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1922,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1921","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-new"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1921","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1921"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1921\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1923,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1921\/revisions\/1923"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1922"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1921"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1921"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noa24.press\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1921"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}